Favourite Quotes

Take them out of context and the things people say are just plain weird.

(silence) We're all sat here listening to the voice in Ruth's head. Laura

I like holding hands. Richard

Crows are just nasty. Steven

I don't get the point of thumb-wars! Richard

I want a tam tam. Chris J

A mother's saliva is sterilising, but only to her own children. Nick

Why didn't God make us with just one muscle? Lizzy
Because we'd be a slug! Laura

I've got jam. You don't need anything else when you've got jam! Chris

That's what girls are for, to make boys feel useful. Laura

I've got lots of strawberries in my room. Jo

He's more of a carrot kind of guy. Louise

Slow and steady wins the race, as long as the pigs behave. Laura

Feet are actually quite nice! Richard

One of those randoms at pav that you don't recognise is actually Ruth after 7 bottles of wine... Mark

I don't want to discuss my identity crisis, I just want some bread. Ruth

He was born somewhere! Richard

Is that the... oh, no, it's not the moon, it's a crane! Louise

Steve by itself isn't a punchline... Steve N

Things are funnier when you've got water in your mouth! Helen

You're still only 21? That's just not right! Steven

That's why gorillas don't wear bracellets. My dad

There's a lot of gravity about tonight. Zoe

It's illegal to eat a spinning trifle. My bro

This is the jumper I can't take off! Louise

It tastes blue! Simon

I don't think 1st century slaves had trade unions... Clive

Defrost before thawing... My mum

You've lived in 2 millennia. You could live in 3 millennia if you lived long enough! My mum (confusing millennium and century, easily done...)

Eric? That's a silly name for a cauliflower! Laura

Don't worry, it does that periodically. Simon B

That's a lot of noise from a little pot! My Dad

My rolls are offended now! My Dad

Washing up mittens. No-one ever thought of those did they?! My Dad

Awww. He sent me a dancing hippo! Ruth